The First Five Times
by Dog On the Moon
Summary: Song Fic. The first five times Sirius and Remus kissed. Rating will probably go up. SiriusxRemus and some LilyxJames
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello all! It's been a while since I submitted anything so I figure I ought to get on that and change it. So I'm going to write you a new fic. A song fic no less. I'm going to write this is in chapters using each of the verses of the song as chapter beginnings and stuff. So... I hope you enjoy it!

(Song is The First Five Times by Stars)

_First time in the back yard_

_Underneath the plastic sheeting_

_Outside it was pouring_

_And we were drunk as shit_

"Wanna finish it?" Sirius slurred hiccoughing as he swished the contents of the almost empty bottle of firewhiskey. Both of them were in the back yard of Remus' home, sitting under an overhang James had conjured up earlier.

"Yeah give it here," Remus held out his hand and Sirius passed over the bottle, slumping back against the wall as he watched his friend gulp down the last of it, shivering as the burning liquid traveled down his throat. Sirius, James and Peter had come up to the Lupin's place and Remus' parents had gone out and James had suggested that they celebrate… Something. Sirius didn't really remember, he thought it might have had something to do with the announcement that his friend had been made Head Boy. Or perhaps it was Quidditch Captain. Not that it really mattered. Any excuse to celebrate was good enough for the Marauders.

And celebrate they had. The boys had stayed up drinking and laughing for much of the night but it was getting on four thirty. James and Peter had gone back in to sleep a little while ago, leaving Sirius and Remus to sit out on the back porch as the rain from one of those occasional, violent summer storms pounded against the overhang.

An odd peaceful sensation washed over the young man as he stared at Remus, listening to the driving rain of the storm pounding the overhang of the porch. The dim glow cast these shadows across his face and Sirius found himself staring quite intently at the other boy's face, watching the way the shadows played across it in the light from his lit wand which lay a few feet away. It was just so absolutely mesmerizing and he probably could have gone on for hours. However, it was at that moment that the boy in question interrupted.

"What're ya lookin' at Padders?" Remus had noticed the fact that his friend was staring at him. He still held the empty bottle in one hand while he used the other to prop himself up.

Sirius snorted and he shrugged slightly, leaning forward slightly, "'M lookin' at you Moonshine," He grinned. He attempted twice to move off the all before finally accomplishing the task, throwing himself forward a little bit too hard and landing on his hands and knees and almost falling on his face. With a little more effort he moved forward to Remus, sitting entirely too close to the boy. He could feel the werewolf's breath fanning across his face, "I ever tell you I kind of want you?"

Honestly he'd been dying to say that for years. He had yet to actually admit it to any of his friends, he was barely acknowledging it himself, but Sirius Black was gay. Yes, he dated and snogged rather a lot of girls but to him it was never anything serious, just a distraction for him and a façade for the rest of the school, they didn't need to know about his secret. It was fun but really he'd had his eyes set on Moony for years and now here, drunk on firewhiskey and considering the way the light hit Remus' face so perfectly he was for some reason compelled to take action for the first time in his life.

Even in this dim wand light the blush that was creeping onto Remus' face was evident. He stared back at Sirius, a little bemused and shocked but a smile was spreading across his face and he actually giggled, "You're drunk Pad." This was apparently rather funny as he started to laugh, not bothering to move away as his friend got closer to him.

Sirius was also grinning and he continued to shift forward until he was practically straddling his werewolf friend, "So what?" He cocked an eyebrow, "Doesn' change 'nythin'." He raised a hand and laid it on the other boy's cheek, looking into Remus' face as he blushed even deeper now not laughing but giving a look of slight confusion and curiosity.

Acting completely on instinct Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus. Even in his muddled drunken state this felt very nice and he moved his other hand to rest on the boy's other cheek, holding his face as he moved his lips against the other boy's. When he felt the werewolf kissing back, and the other boy's hand curling around the hair on the nape of his neck his smile grew wider. Remus tasted rather strongly of firewhiskey at the moment but underneath that Sirius detected something else. Something rather sweet and regrettably unfamiliar to the animagus.

Finally the two of them parted so that they could breath. Remus was grinning like a loon as he stared into Sirius' face, "Thas nice Sirius…" He managed to mumble hazily before collapsing forward into Sirius, causing him fall back onto the wood of the porch. Well that was the end of that for now.

Sighing slightly he picked up the other boy. Something he'd done many times before now but it was made rather more difficult in this drunkenness so the trio back to the room they had been sleeping in was rather shaky. However he managed it eventually, dragging his friend across the room to his bed and dumping him in it before collapsing in his own himself.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hooray! It's the second chapter, wheeeeeeeee.

_Next time at a party_

_When all our friends were there_

_There is nothing like bare mattresses_

_Underneath the stairs_

It was a couple of weeks before the boys kissed again. Neither of them mentioned that night, for Remus it seemed he had either forgotten or passed it off as a dream and Sirius was just following the boy's lead, not trying to rock the boat. No need to sabotage what he had with Remus over one little drunken kiss. It probably hadn't even meant anything to the werewolf.

But it really had meant something to Sirius. Despite his drunkenness at the time he found that he could recall that particular event perfectly and not a day had gone by when he hadn't thought back on that moment and wished with all his being that he could just do it again. Remus' lips had tasted absolutely fantastic and he desperately wanted another go.

However, Remus' silence was clue enough to him that the event had not meant the same to the Prefect as it had to him. But he was going to have to accept it, eventually he'd be able to find someone else. Someone that he wanted to snog as much as he wanted to snog his werewolf best friend. Because it wasn't just kissing that Sirius wished he could have from the other boy. He wanted everything that would go along with kissing, for Remus to actually care about him the way he cared for his friend.

Sirius was prepared to repress any romantic attraction he had for the other boy but that was before the party after the first Quidditch game of their seventh year. James had managed to gain Gryffindor a rather spectacular victory when he caught the Snitch mere seconds before the Ravenclaw Seeker. The whole house was absolutely ecstatic about their victory. This put them very far in the lead for both the Quidditch and House Cups. and there had been quite the celebration back in the Common Room, fueled in part to rather a lot of Butterbeer and Firewhiskey smuggled in by Sirius, Remus and Peter (James had been rather distracted by all the congratulations and carryings on to go with his friends.)

The music was loud and the crowd was as excitable as ever. McGonagall would probably be coming up soon to scold them but it didn't really matter at the moment. Especially not when Sirius noticed his best friend approaching Lily Evans who was sitting over by the window with a couple of friends, holding a Butterbeer and looking pleased in spite of herself.

Sirius elbowed Peter in the side, "Oi Wormy. Look at Prongs," He pointed across the room to where Lily had now rose and the two of them crossed to a slightly more secluded spot.

"What?" Peter turned and followed Sirius' gaze. His eyes widened slightly and then a grin crossed his face, "So he's finally making his move then? 'Bout time too," He said, glancing up at his friend who nodded fervently in agreement.

"Hope it works this time," Sirius said still watching the pair in the corner. He couldn't hear what was being said over the din of the crowd but it didn't seem to be going that badly. Actually things like this had been going rather well for James thus far. Since the beginning of this year it seemed that things had been going better between the two of them. Well, she hadn't hexed him since the start of term. That could only be a positive step, and they actually appeared to be on speaking terms.

Rather more than speaking terms it appeared as James had just leaned in and kissed the red-head who, instead of slapping him across the face had merely wrapped her arms around the Seeker's neck and kissed back.

"Well I'll be damned," Peter half laughed a wide grin spreading across his face. He let out a woop and started to clap and almost immediately Sirius let out a shout of his own. Other people had also noticed the kissing couple and they joined in as the two of them broke apart. Lily was blushing but James was beaming and really Sirius doubted he could look any happier if he had just won the Quidditch World Cup.

Now, seeing James and Lily kiss again ideas were starting to run through his mind. Wild and crazy ideas about finding his werewolf friend and snogging him senseless. Hell. If James could finally manage to get Lily, the girl who had consistently rejected him almost every day since 3rd year then why couldn't he made the move on Remus, a boy he had actually kissed?

Perhaps it was the alcohol. Or maybe the adrenaline rush of winning the game and seeing his best friend finally attain the girl of his dreams but Sirius knew that he _had_ to kiss Remus. Now. It wasn't like he was trying to upstage James or anything like that. It was just something he knew.

But first came finding the boy. And that was often a task in itself, Remus Lupin was rather adept at not being found. Especially during social situations such as this one. But he had been here. Sirius was sure of it. He'd seen him earlier… He scanned the crowd, trying to pick out the face of his friend.

Ah, there he was. Over in the corner talking to Marlene McKinnon, "Gonna go talk to Moony, be back in a second," He mumbled vaguely to Peter as he left his friend, crossing the room to where Remus and Marlene were standing.

"Oh hey Pad-"

And before Sirius knew what he was doing he had reached out, taking Remus' face in his hands and kissed him. It felt just as amazing as it had last time, like he remembered and ah, if he could just stay like this forever he would be a happy man. However, to Sirius' dismay Remus had pushed him back and was staring at him, an absolutely horrified look on his face. Marlene stared as well, her hands over her mouth in shock.

"Sirius…" Remus whispered. It seemed as though there was no one else at all in the room besides the two boys, the noise of the crowd had faded away, "I… I have to go…"

And with that he had left.


	3. Chapter 3

I have finally updated! Woooooo! Ah, didn't turn out quite how I wanted it… Although I wasn't really sure how I wanted it to turn out so oh well, works for me~ Anywho, here it is in all it's… Existence.

Now I must ask, should my next chapter be smutty? Or just implied? Because I'm not sure I'm up to the challenge of writing full on smut… Oh well, let me know~

_Third time in a doorway_

_With the lights all on around us_

_And the audience beside us_

_And your man watching from the trees_

The rest of that week had been so incredibly uncomfortable. Remus didn't seem to be able to make eye-contact with Sirius. Every time, both of them were alone together the werewolf would just flush and would find some sort of excuse to leave.

And James and Peter weren't helping either. Of course they knew what had happened, the whole House knew what had happened. Hell, most of the school knew what had taken place that night. But neither of them seemed to have any idea what to do about this. If he gave it any thought Sirius couldn't exactly blame them, this was the first either of them had heard about him being gay. Although they had taken the news remarkably well, that still didn't mean they had any good suggestions about his love life.

Sirius himself was rather conflicted as well. A part of him really wanted to go to Remus and tell him it hadn't meant anything. That he'd been drinking more than he'd admitted to. Just so they could be friends again. However, that probably wasn't going to fly with the werewolf, and he wasn't exactly the best liar. But the alternatives seemed to mostly include confessing to the boy, which was just too frightening a prospect for even the _great_ Sirius Black.

The last option seemed to be the one they had to follow, remain in this awkward silence for the rest of the year. Not being able to look at each other or talk anymore… Almost more painful in a way really.

"Just _talk_ to him Padders," James finally said. The two of them here hanging around in the Common Room by the fire, books and parchment spread across the table. Remus had mumbled something about a transfiguration essay, claiming to need the library and Peter had gone with him, wanting some help. Working here had been a fruitless attempt to distract Sirius from the pervading thoughts of the werewolf, "You've spent at least half of the past week just staring at him. It's… Lurky. And weird."

"But… What if he says no?"

James just stared at him for a moment, "That's not going to work on me, Pads. You're talking to the same boy who followed Evans around for four years. One measly little rejection means nothing. Just keep trying and eventually it'll pay off," He paused for a moment, noticing something behind Sirius, "Hey," He grinned over Sirius' head and the boy glanced over his shoulder to see Evans approached them.

"Hello you two," Lily smiled at them, drawing up a chair beside James, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. She looked over at the other boy, he still looked morose and confused, "What's on your mind Sirius?" Her brow creased as she surveyed the boy's face.

"Remus…." Sirius mumbled as he doodled spirals aimlessly on a spare bit of parchment, not wanting to look at either of them anymore.

"Padfoot seems to've decided that when it comes to Moony, waffling and avoiding the problem is the best and only policy," James explained to Lily, stretching himself in the chair, still watching Sirius, "He's being a bit of a mule-headed git about this whole situation don't you think?"

"Still here, Jim," Sirius growled.

"I know, that's the point."

"Oh shut it you insufferable-"

"Alright I think we've had quite enough of that then," Lily had cut in before things between the two boys escalated any further, "Sirius…" He looked up, "You like him right?" He nodded, "And you want this to go somewhere yeah?" Another nod, "Then I agree with James, you should at least talk to him." James started a triumphant cry of 'See!' when Lily cut him off, "But there's a reason you're not telling him yeah?"

"Yeah…" Seeing Lily's expectant face Sirius groaned and continued, "He's just not going to feel the same way. You didn't see his face after I..." With a groan he let his head fall down onto the table. That shocked and aghast look on his friend's face was more than enough to tell him he'd taken things too far. Kissing him had been a terrible, horrible, friendship-ruining idea.

James and Lily exchanged looks, "I wouldn't rule out the possibility that Moony's might fancy you too," James shrugged slightly.

"You're just saying that…"

"Not really," Lily said, "Out of the four of you I've always thought you and Remus would've made the best couple," She said, "And I am _not_ just saying that because I'm seeing James and Peter's got the biggest crush on Marlene-"

"What!" Demanded both James and Sirius.

"Oh, open your eyes you two… It's obvious. Like you and Remus, he's always looking at you or talking to you. Do you really think he would have asked you for flying lessons if he'd actually wanted to learn? No, he did it because he wanted to spend time with you. And the way he talks about you is just adorable…"

Sirius looked at his friends helplessly for a moment, he didn't want to get his hopes up that Remus might like him only to discover that he didn't. That would just be the worst. No, come up with more excuses for why things would never work out, "He's seeing that Ravenclaw bird isn't he?"

"I'm not really sure about that… They've only gone on a couple of dates. Barely even counts," James shrugged, "And since when would Sirius Black ever let some random Ravenclaw girl get between him and something he wants?" He cocked a brow.

"Can we just drop it?" Sirius muttered, looking back down at his parchment once again, "Essay's due tomorrow 'n all…"

"Just accept it, you like him and I'll bet my broom he likes you too." Sirius just grunted and refused to talk about anything to do with Remus for the rest of the evening.

The next morning breakfast was the usual rather awkward affair. Sirius spent most of it stealing glances at Remus who was just looking down into his porridge. All of last night he had been thinking about the things that Jams and Lily had told him last night. About how Remus seemed to have a crush on him. Maybe… Just maybe… Should he at least try? He was a bloody Gryffindor after all, bravery and all that shit. Maybe he should start walking the walk…

At least he needed to say something. Depending on how the boy reacted he could make his decision on how to treat that kiss that they had shared. If he seemed unreceptive it would have just been a stupid drunken impulse from seeing James and if he seemed interested it was on purpose. Right. That would work right? Remus would get it. And he could handle it if Remus were to reject him. Or at least that's what he was going to tell himself.

The food had disappeared from the plates and there was a great scraping as the students all rose to head off to class. Sirius had a free period but Remus was supposed to be off to Arithmancy first. Not that it mattered, Sirius had made up his mind and he was going to do this before he completely lost his nerve and never spoke of this again.

"Hey! Remus!" He called, the boy had almost made it to the doors out of the Great Hall but he paused, hearing his name being called. There was a nervous look on his face but he had stopped, that was a good sign wasn't it? Had to be…

"Right er…. So… About the other night," Now that he was finally faced with the situation Sirius had no idea how he was supposed to start with this, "We haven't really, erm… Talked… About it…" He mumbled. Oh just look him in the face you stupid toss pot, "So… We… We kissed."

"Yeah…" A blush was forming on Remus' cheeks, "Yeah, we… Did that…"

Oh it had been a bad idea. Oh Merlin why did he think even talking about this was a good idea. His friendship with Remus was officially over. They would never be able to talk or be friends or anything in the same way ever again. No, just apologize, cover it up. You can do this. You were drunk, you were incredibly drunk. That was it…

"Listen, I'm sorry, I'd had a few and I wasn't thinking about what I was doing an-" However, to his immense surprise and even greater happiness he was cut off by Remus' lips on his own. Even now that it was their third kiss it was just as electrifying as every single one before it.

It was over all too quickly, Remus had pulled away and once again Sirius experienced the feeling that no one else was even there besides the two of them. Logically that couldn't be so, people had stopped now to see what was happening but in his mind, the only thing that mattered was that Remus had just kissed him. Again. Of his own volition this time.

"Don't apologize or you'll ruin it," Remus said quietly, staring into Sirius' face with a look that was reducing the animagus' legs to jelly, "The other night I was… Confused… I… I've wanted that for, well, for a while now," He admitted, a blush forming on his cheeks, "But I just… I didn't know what to do, and I hadn't realized things and just… I've been thinking all this week, did he want that too? Guessing by your face you did then, right?"

Sirius nodded, "Oh Merlin yes I did…" He breathed. He was vaguely aware that he was being stared at, not that it mattered or anything…

A grin crossed his friend's face, "Oh Padfoot! That's fantastic!"

Now Sirius was smirking lightly at Remus, "What do you say to after class going and trying that again?"

"I'd… I'd love to," Remus stood on his toes, and kissed Sirius on the cheek before turning away, books in his hands, "I'll see you later then~"

Sirius had never felt better in his life and not even the death glares and mouthed threats from that Ravenclaw girl could dampen his spirits. He headed back up to his room, feeling lighter than he had in weeks to mentally prepare himself for later and whatever that would bring.


End file.
